Mad...Angry...Upset...Irate...Livid...yeah, all of those...
I am SO sick of being other people's "go-to"...when it comes to writing....when it comes to fixing people's messes...when it comes to be the shoulder...when it comes to just "being around" so someone is not alone...I am sick of it!
I am normally a social person...Ask anyone who knows me and they'll say that. But when you are FORCED to always be social instead of being allowed to live in your head once in a while, you start wanting to live your head more and more...
Don't get me wrong (or do...I really don't care any more), I love the gay couple I live with. But they bitch to me about each other! They bitch to me about their jobs! They bitch to me about their families! They bitch to me about money! They bitch to me about everything and everything ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! But heaven forbid I start bitching about work or lack of money or lack of free time...then I'm just selfish and never listen to anyone! WTF, Maynard? GAH!
If I complain about work, I hate my job (I don't! I LOVE my job when I am not stressed about home!) If I complain about my lack of a boyfriend/partner/significant other, it's because I never go out...which is true. But if I complain about no place to go, they tell me that I'm not really exploring enough (huh?) If I complain about the place I DO hang out at, I need to find some place else to go...see the vicious circle?
For someone so social, I only seem to have three people in my life worth my time or effort...one's in Michigan and dealing with her own crap and the other two are the two I am having so many issues with right now...Again...GAH!
OK...sometimes venting helps...I feel better now...check in tomorrow, it'll probably be different.